What not to say or do with someone who is anxious?

    Having anxiety sometimes is okay; it can help you get productive. However, if you are constantly living with anxiety, it is not right. A person can have an anxiety disorder, which makes it impossible to get things done. An anxious person is unable to control his or her thoughts. They overthink every scenario, ruminate, and are unable to be in the present. Thus, they can ruin their present and even have to let go of many opportunities. For an anxious person, dealing with anxiety is tough. But it is also tough for the people around them. Sometimes, they have the best intentions, but what they say ends up hurting the other person or making their anxiety worse. So, if you are someone who knows an anxious person, here are a few things to not say or do with a person dealing with anxiety.

    What not to say or do with someone who is anxious?

    Do not say, “Just relax”

    When you say ‘just relax,’ do you expect the person to suddenly feel calm? No, anxiety does not work like this. You cannot expect an anxious person to suddenly feel calm because you asked them to. Instead, it can have a negative impact on them, as they might feel that their feelings are being invalidated. Instead of saying, ‘Just relax’, tell the person I am there for you.’ This shows your support for them and validates their feelings, too, which is what they are looking for.

    ‘Do not worry about it’

    This is another phrase you should not say to someone going through anxiety. Worrying is not in their hands; if they want to, they will. When you ask someone not to worry, it makes them feel like their feelings are unimportant. It will only increase the anxiety they feel. Instead, try to offer them support by reassuring them in the best manner. Also, do not lie to them because that will only make them lose your trust, which is not something you want. You can say, ‘I care how you feel’ and offer them the best reassurance you have. Value their emotions, and they will automatically start feeling lighter. If you see any of your friends or family members suffering from anxiety disorder, luxury depression treatment centers have experts who can help you come up with an approach to managing your anxiety.

    ‘It is just in your head’

    When you tell a person who deals with anxiety on a daily basis that it is just in their head, you are invalidating their feelings and experiences. Anxiety is challenging, and dealing with it regularly gives you chronic fatigue. Telling them it’s in their heads will only increase their anxiety. Instead, tell them you understand how tough it is and how brave they are to deal with it every day. When you make them feel understood, things always work out for the better.

    ‘You are overreacting’

    Again, a dismissive and invalidating phrase undermines a person’s feelings. You have to acknowledge every emotion you feel, and an anxious person does feel it. So, when you tell them that their anxiety is excessive, you are dismissing their feelings, which makes them feel overwhelmed and worse about feeling this way. It also shows you do not have any sympathy for their issues. Tell them, ‘It is okay to feel this way’ because it shows them that what they are feeling is not bad at all. It reassures them that their feelings are valid.

    ‘You are being extra sensitive’

    Telling this to an anxious person is a big mistake. Every person feels emotions differently. So, telling them that they are being sensitive makes them think their feelings are invalid or that they are exaggerating the same. Instead of saying this, ‘tell them your feelings completely make sense.’ It shows them that they should not be ashamed of what they are feeling, that it is completely normal, and that they will get better.

    ‘You are overthinking’

    Overthinking is a symptom of anxiety. So, it is not in their hands. But if you keep telling them that ‘they are overthinking,’ it makes them angrier and more prone to anxiety issues.


    To calm an anxious person, ensure you do not use the above phrases. Moreover, you should be careful about your tone. Even if you use the right phrases, if your tone is not calm or seems frustrated, it will make the anxious person more anxious. Moreover, if your body language shows frustration, then a person with anxiety will not feel any sense of calm.

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