Album review
Let’s cut to the chase: Career Mode players aren’t just asking for new features. We’re begging EA to stop treating our football fantasies like a spreadsheet simulator. This isn’t about “adding depth”—it’s about reigniting the spark that made us fall in love with managing a club in the first place. The spark that turns “I’ll play one more match” into “Wait, is the sun rising?”
Here’s what we actually need—not as gamers, but as humans clinging to a pixelated escape.
1. Let Us Grieve When Our 37-Year-Old Striker Retires
You know the feeling. That striker you signed on a free transfer in League Two? The one who scored a hat-trick in the playoff final despite a torn ACL? When he retires, we don’t want a cold email from the board. We want a cinematic farewell—teary-eyed fans holding up his name, a locker room speech where he passes the armband to your 18-year-old wonderkid, and maybe a statue outside the stadium (even if it’s just a JPEG).
2. Let Us Screw Up (And Make It Matter)
We don’t want perfect. We want messy. Let us:
- Sign a flop who tanks morale because he parties more than he trains.
- Accidentally sell a club legend because we misread the “Loan Offer” button (again).
- Get fired for refusing to sign a 35-year-old goalkeeper the board insists we need.
And when we fail? Let the game haunt us. Make former players trash-talk us in interviews. Have fans throw (virtual) cabbages. Let the local newspaper headline read: “Manager Blows Transfer Budget on a Striker Who Can’t Score in an Empty Net.”
3. “Let Me Steal My Best Friend’s Wonderkid”
Career Mode scouting feels like dating apps: Swipe left on faceless regens until you find “the one.” But where’s the drama? The betrayal? Let us:
- Poach a rival’s youth star by offering their parents a shady “house in Ibiza” (aka Financial Shenanigans Mode).
- Discover a gem while watching a simulated U-18 match… only to realize he’s got the stamina of a napping sloth.
- Lose a prospect to a bigger club because our training facilities are held together by duct tape and hope.
“I want to feel like a CONSPIRACY THEORIST when my scouts recommend a player. Is he a hidden gem? Or did EA program him to have two left feet?”
— Twitter user @FM_Addict
4. Let Us Be Petty
Football is built on pettiness. Let us:
- Start a feud with a rival manager who called our tactics “Sunday League-level.”
- Bench a player because he liked an Instagram post about joining Chelsea.
- Customize pre-match handshakes to be icy glares or overly aggressive hugs.
And for the love of all that’s holy, let us rename the “El Plastico” derby to something that doesn’t sound like a Tupperware ad.
5. Let Us Fall in Love With a Kit
Kit customization shouldn’t feel like a PowerPoint slide. We want:
- Socks that MATTER: Let us clash patterns like a hungover kitman. Polka dots? Vertical stripes? Let chaos reign.
- Fans who riot if we change the home kit’s shade of blue.
- A “Retro Kit Pack” unlocked by winning the Champions League with a team from Malta.
“My partner saw me spend 45 minutes designing a third kit and said, ‘It’s just pixels.’ I said, ‘IT’S PERIWINKLE, KAREN.’ We’re in therapy now.”
— Discord user PixelPepGuardiola
6. Let Us Live in the World, Not a Menu
Career Mode feels like a never-ending to-do list. Replace the robotic menus with:
- Training montages where your 16-year-old prospect learns to curl free kicks… or accidentally breaks the stadium lights.
- A locker room where players argue over music playlists or prank each other with moldy boots.
- A manager’s office with sticky notes, a fading photo of your first promotion, and a stress ball shaped like the board’s unrealistic expectations.
- Award showcase would be nice
- Historical stats would add so much more depth and to strive for
7. Let Us Stay Up Until 3 AM… For a Reason
We’ve all been there: It’s 2:53 AM, and you’re negotiating a loan deal for a backup left-back. But why? Give us:
- A youth prospect who texts you at midnight: “Gaffer, can I take the next penalty?”
- A Champions League group stage draw that makes you yell, “HOW ARE WE IN A GROUP WITH BARCELONA AND A SHEEP FARMERS’ FC?!”
- A deadline day where your CEO panic-buys a striker because “the fans are tweeting mean things.”
The Real Ask: Let Us Care Again
EA, we’re not naive. We know Ultimate Team pays the bills. But Career Mode players aren’t just a demographic—we’re custodians of stories. Stories about rebuilding our hometown club, about turning a backup goalkeeper into a set-piece wizard, about crying when our 40-year-old virtual self finally hangs up their boots.
